শনিবার, ১ ডিসেম্বর, ২০১২

Astrology is Element-Ary

Long before Netflix or the electric light, our ancestors turned to the heavens for their entertainment. The Sun, the moon, and stars became their TV and over time they got good at channel surfing. The ancients also enjoyed a good plot line, so intricate mythologies were spun to describe each constellation and like any episode of the OC, they were jam-packed with plenty of intrigue and loads of drama. Eventually this sky drama was brought down to earth in the form of the 12 sign zodiac, and imbued with the four elements of terra firma: Fire, earth, air and water.

FIRE is life?s spark and fire signs are hot, sassy, frisky and free. These firebrands want freedom to do what they please, but if they get the hots for someone, especially another fire sign, they are the quickest to shack up (think U-Haul gals).

Aries is the first fire sign, and they hit you with a pow! They?re fearless pioneers who can work a crowd. When Elton John came out publicly, it damaged him, but he kept coming back like a refurbished jet. These guys have an assertive, masculine streak, and even the ladies look good in tight jeans.

Leo is next, and they seem to draw you to them like cold hands to a warm hearth or a flat screen TV during premier week. They?re arduous lovers and very loyal. Delta Burke is one Leo cat who fought tooth and nail for LGBT rights, not just for her fans but also for her lesbian sister.

Sagittarius is the most restless fire sign. They?re half horsey so they need wide open spaces. They crave travel and adore hobnobbing with foreigners. They?re uncomfortable in their own shoes (unless they?re dancing) and want to try on your moccasins. SAG award winner Felicity Huffman easily slipped into the shoes of a pre-op transgender woman in the film Transamerica.

EARTH is stable, cautious, practical and surprisingly sensual. It takes time for earth signs to be intimate, but once you go out with them you become their property. What these folks lack in PDA?s, they make up for in practical ways like fixing your water heater.

Earthy Taurus is pretty stubborn, but luckily they?re huggable, snuggable and squeezably soft. This sign is packed with gay icons like Cher, Babs and Grace Jones, along with ?King of Trash? John Waters.

Virgo is a nervous earth sign that seems like a canary in the coal mine with regard to the latest flu bug or elevated pollen count, but they are extremely smart and meticulous in how they look after you. Lily Tomlin is my fave Virgo/Lesbo combo.

Capricorn is a rags-to-riches sign that contains one of the biggest fag hags. Dolly Parton says she loves makeup so much that if she were born a man, she?d be a drag queen. David Bowie has some sugar too.

AIR is the intellectual element that focuses less on practicality and more on possibility. These signs are fun talkers and extremely bright. They relate to anyone and make you feel comfortable just being you. They seem so relaxed in social settings that coming out for them might seem like a breeze.

Gemini is the ?double your pleasure, double your fun? air sign that makes you giggle to tears, but sometimes their bad twin spoils the fun by eating too many Jell-O shots. Boy George has been down that road.

Airy Libra tries to cultivate harmony and find a life partner all in one fell swoop. Their ruler Venus makes them look good (just think of your?average super model and there you go). The gay rights movement flowered during the late 60s and 70s when the planets Uranus and Pluto cruised through this sign. Robert Reed, aka Mike Brady on the Brady Bunch, was everybody?s favorite dad, and in reality, a big ol? queen.

Air sign Aquarius is a revolutionairy and often mistaken for water because of its wet sounding name. Its symbol looks like waves, but on closer examination you get lightning bolts that shock you. Aquarius is fixed air that holds moisture (think clouds) and they rain it down as knowledge (think wireless internet). Aquarius is the sign of friendship, and who could be a better friend than our old pals Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah?

WATER is the giver of life and governs the emotions that seem to well up in us. Water signs are psychic, secretive and tender. They soak up impressions all around them like sponges and if you?re feeling low, they sink with you.

Cancer is a maternal water sign. They instinctively remember the concept of god as a great mother, and like Mother Nature, they want to nurture you but can have a nagging way of doing so. Give ?em hugs now and then and remind them how special they are. George Michael is a Cancer who tried to sidestep his sexuality, but like his symbol the crab, he ended up in hot water.

Scorpio is fixed water so be careful when rowing your dingy by their icebergs; there is way more berg below the surface. Scorpios appear cool but deep down is a boiling cauldron of passionate obsession. They have piercing eagle eyes that stare into your soul, yet they remain enigmatic until they have you. Sex is serious business with them so take a life raft. K.D. Lang and Peaches are two Scorpios that get under you skin in good ways.

Watery Pisces have big, beautiful fish eyes. They are chameleons who slip from the crowd and escape through the arts or a bottle of cheap bourbon and a pack of lucky strikes. They?re dreamy and mucho understanding, listening to your secrets as you cry on their shoulder. Theirs is a calming influence. Ever notice when you stare at a fish tank that your blood pressure goes down? Wanda Sykes makes you laugh so you forget.

PHOTOGRAPHY Horace Long | TEXT Miss Tammy Whynot
MAKE-UP Viridiana Cervantes | ART DIRECTION Justin Warner
MODEL Fire & Earth, Pagen Holliday | MODEL Air & Water, Miss Tammy Whynot

Source: http://www.justout.com/highlights/slider-highlights/astrology-is-element-ary/

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